Joint Fire Support Team
by RowenaR
Summary: Sgt Brad Colbert served in a couple strange places before. Atlantis tops them all. One-Shots. #2: Sometimes, Dr. Jennifer Keller doesn't mind a little tactical fire support.
1. Drowning on Dry Land

**Author: **RowenaR (aka gelbes_gilatier :D)**  
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**Summary: **Laura Cadman wouldn't be the first Lieutenant Sergeant Brad Colbert is giving some gentle nudges into the right direction. If she'd just let him.**  
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**Category:** Romance**  
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**Rating:** K+**  
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**Disclaimer: **So. Uh. Stargate still isn't mine (otherwise, some things would have gone differently... okay, _a lot_ of things would) and _Generation Kill_ isn't mine either. This is based on the fictional versions of First Recon, although I did read the book. You know what I mean.**  
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**A/N:** **Language warning. We're talking _Marines_ here.** Anyway... This was inspired both by **hanseatic_keks **who gave me a Generation Kill/Stargate prompt for this year's Holiday Fic Request Meme and thus made me _finally_ read and watch _Generation Kill_ and **ArwenLune** who took that prompt as an inspiration to start _Rock Happy _(can be found on AO3) which is about the coolest thing I'm currently waiting for to be continued and her idea to use Laura Cadman and Brad Colbert in a fic. Originally, this one was rather supposed to be a one-shot but... my characters apparently love to betray me screw me over surprise me and there were a few other Atlantis characters who wanted to appear in a fic together with Brad Colbert (but then again... who doesn't?) so, uh, this kind of became a 'verse. Going by the name of _Joint Fire Support Team_ *rolls eyes at self

Anyway, this is my first story involving _Generation Kill_ and there are no words for how nervous I'm about it. I'm brand new to the fandom and for some reason, _Generation Kill _seems to be intimidating as a fandom (although I'm sure you're all great people!) and uh.. be gentle? Please?

Also, anyone finding messed up homophones, please jump on them, trample them down and then hand them to me. I will do with them what they deserve. They are my personal nemesis. (ask my part-time beta, **mackenziesmomma**)

And now on with the story and don't forget:

Feedback will earn you a cookie, flames will roast our marsh-mellows.

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><p><strong>Drowning on Dry Land<strong>

"_Come on and wade, way out into the water with me,  
>we're drowning on dry land.<br>Come on and wade way out into the water with me...  
>Jump in and take my hand."<em>

_Celtic Storm, "Scalliwag"_

It's been going on for a few days now. Ever since Cadman dragged their Zoomie XO into what's called the Gate Control room around here and kept yelling at him that she'll fucking kill him with her own fucking hands if he dared dying on her. Left a fucking bloody trail all over the floor bleeding from a couple holes. It's actually a miracle he didn't bleed to death.

Lorne's been in the infirmary since then while Cadman seems to be prowling the city, ready to pick a fight with whomever would be stupid enough to stand in her way. He's pretty sure she left a couple of zoologists traumatized when they dared to have a little chat outside her boom shack yesterday. He's _almost_ sure she even gave that overblown Canadian physicist ego McKay a run for his money because whenever someone utters her name in his vicinity he goes all pale and excuses himself from the conversation since two days ago.

So it's probably a supreme example of some fucking heroics that he's standing outside the workout room and contemplating to tell her... _ask_ her not to monopolize the fucking punching bag. He's been here for at least 30 and the only time she stopped beating it to pulp was to up the volume of the crap she's currently listening to. Something with a screeching female sounding even more pissed than Cadman looks. At least it's not hip hop or, Heaven forbid, country.

But yeah, he really wants to use that punching bag himself, so he squares his shoulders and takes a step into the room. There's no reason to be scared of anything inside the workout room. They used to call him Iceman, so he can very well take on one little Lieutenant, Marine or not. She's not Nathaniel Fick, after all.

He takes another step but she keeps pummeling the bag. He clears his throat. She doesn't stop. He rolls his eyes. "Ma'am?" Still no reaction. "Excuse me, _ma'am_?"

Ah. She stops and he notices dark spots on the grey fabric that wraps the punching back. The subsequent look at her knuckles confirms it. She came here for the pain. He knows that strategy. Some Marines, they seek pain when something went FUBAR, when they're blaming themselves. He never thought Cadman would be one of them. But then again, since he arrived here, she'd never been in a fuck-up, or at least none that involved bloody trails on the Gate room floor and a trauma team performing emergency surgery right fucking there.

The music stops.

"_What_, Sergeant?" And that... isn't really the Cadman he got to know. He'd been wary of the officers he encountered in Atlantis, even though all the enlisted men at the Mountain told him it's different from the usual fucked up chain of command and she'd been one of those to surprise him with how approachable she was and how much weight she put in the words of enlisted men, rolling her eyes and telling him he's five years her senior and probably has ten years of combat experience under his belt so what did he expect? That she'd yell at him and give a rat's ass about whatever the fuck he's telling her?

No way, she'd said. No fucking way and now she's staring at him with eyes blazing in anger and bloodied knuckles that seem to be itching for more than just some stuffed canvas. He resists rolling his eyes. Hers is a shitty coping strategy and she should know it. "Just wondering when I might get a go, ma'am."

"When I'm done with mine, Sergeant." Whoa. That was clear. A lesser man would probably have been real frightened.

He's no lesser man, though. So he figures grabbing the bull by its horns could actually serve a good purpose here. "There's blood on the punching bag, ma'am," he points out to her. He abstains from mentioning the blood on her knuckles.

She looks at the bag and what gets to him is the bafflement blooming on her face. It's worse than he thought. She doesn't even feel the pain she came here for.

After a moment of confused silence, he sees her face going blank. Like those Marines who simply shut down in the face of brutality and suffering. He never thought _Lieutenant Laura Cadman_ of all people would be capable of that. "I'll be okay."

Right. That one he knows. Cadman might be female, but apparently, female Marines learn the same routine when handling injury that male Marines do. As long as it's not life threatening, they just pretend there's nothing there. That was one of the things that really took some getting used to.

But it's not the physical injury that makes the alarm bells ring in the back of his mind that he got every time one of his men wasn't okay in Iraq. He decides to be blunt with her. Someone should have done this days ago. "I don't think so, ma'am. I really don't think you're going to be okay the way you're going about this mission fuck-up." For a moment he wonders if he should have added "with all due respect" but he's pretty sure Cadman knows he respects her. Every Marine, be it male or female, serving in a combat unit like a Gate team deserves his respect.

At first, it looks as if she'd go and bust his ass after all but then she just shakes her head. "I fucked up the mission, Sergeant. This is my way of dealing with it."

Bullshit. "This is _no_ way of dealing with it."

She eyes him, as if she's taken aback a little but then she tries to assume the stance usually officers that he couldn't stand assumed. "I'm pretty sure I'm fit to decide whichever way I want to deal with crap like this."

He's pretty sure she's fit for a lot of things – she did get Lorne back in time to Atlantis, after all, and apparently almost singlehandedly at that, seeing as her team had been more occupied with providing cover for her to drag him through the Gate – but not for _that_. He understands that she wouldn't want to talk to a shrink or a padre. That's normal. For a Marine, anyway. What's not normal is that she wouldn't turn to another Marine. Or maybe even a Zoomie. Or a scientist. A peer, as the people over in Social Sciences would say.

He flexes his hands. Sometimes, when a Marine doesn't want to talk… you have to _make_ them talk. He's pretty sure she'd not reject a little advice from a Sergeant with a bit of Recon experience. "Ma'am, missions get fucked up all the time. It's a fact of life."

She snorts but beneath the derision, he can hear a sort of bitter desperation. "Oh really? And _nearly getting your fucking commanding officer killed_? Is _that_ a fact of life, too?"

This is familiar. Actually, it's like Iraq all over again. It's Trombley after shooting the shepherd and Walt after shooting the unarmed man in the blue sedan. Only Cadman didn't shoot the enemy. He's got no idea _what_ happened but she seems to think she's responsible for Lorne ending up in the infirmary. That just can't be healthy. "Yes, ma'am, even that is."

There's a sound from her. Like a strangled sob she only held back because she remembered you weren't supposed to cry in front of anyone, at any time as a female Marine just in time. She tries a different route instead. "Fuck you, Sergeant."

His first impulse is to tell her he might actually take one of them – her or Mehra or any of the other female Marines or Airmen – up on the offer if they keep saying that but he's not a sexist asshole, nor does he hate women, despite everything people might have believed of him whenever Ray told them he doesn't intend to get married because of the girl who dumped him for his best friend.

Instead of saying that, he gears up to get her back to talking to him but she's faster, throwing her hands up and saying, "This is pointless. I got better things to do."

Yeah, he can see what _that_ is supposed to be. Beating up a poor innocent punching bag and ruining her hands in the process. Not on his watch. "You mean like visiting Major Lorne in the infirmary, ma'am?"

"Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here, _Sergeant_." It's a good reaction. It means he struck the right cord. She _really_ hasn't been down to the infirmary yet. That really isn't like her, who'd gone out of her way to make sure her teammates were treated well by the infirmary staff whenever someone landed their ass there as long as he's been here. He knows that much about her.

It's also a very good opening for him to dig in to. "I will, ma'am. If you do me the favor and explain to an ignorant Sergeant why you would drag your CO's ass back all the way to the city and yell at him loud enough for everyone including your _CO_'s CO to hear only to never see how he's doing."

It's not that he doesn't have an idea what that could be. It's just that he thinks she needs to spell it out, for her sake. "I know how he's doing, Sergeant."

Holy shit. She just managed to surprise him enough that he only wonders, "How?"

She runs one of her hands through her unruly, sticky hair, obviously still oblivious to the damage she wrecked on her hands. There's a strange burning, pained expression in her eyes when she finally looks at him again. As if she's been trying to fight so that she doesn't have to cry. "I just… _do_. Listen, I don't need to explain myself to you. Or anyone else for that matter." Why are you gearing up to do it anyway, then, he wants to ask but knows it's wiser to keep that to himself. It looks very much like she's finally going to open up to him. "I know that Major Lorne is in the ICU and hasn't woken up yet. I also know that Dr. Keller thinks he's going to pull through but that he's not out of the woods yet. I _know_ all that." That didn't answer his question. But the next sentence does. "I just don't want to see it."

He lets that sink in. The bruised knuckles, the hair that looks nothing like her usual neat and regulation abiding pinned up hair, the little smear of blood against her cheek she left when she rubbed against it with the back of her hand, the fidgeting. The words. _I just don't want to see it._ There was something to it… something sad and desperate, even a little defiant. Something that struck him as odd. "You got anything going on with the Major, ma'am?"

_That_ was probably a bad idea. "What the everloving fucking hell _is_ it that makes all you stupid knuckleheads insinuate that a female Marine just _has_ to be sleeping with her superior because we're obviously all just career driven bitches every damn time we even so much as look at a soldier with a fucking dick which is basically all the fucking _time_?"

Not quite sure if that statement really made sense, he takes his time to answer. This reeks of having touched a nerve, the way she lit up at the question, not meant to be insinuating _anything_. As if she's been waiting for someone to ask it for a very long time, ready to shoot down anyone who did.

And maybe she was. Or maybe she's had people making unfounded accusations about sleeping her way up the chain of command since basic training. Maybe it's one of those female armed forces personnel things he hadn't even been fully aware of before coming here and starting to work with female soldiers that were actually going into battle as full-fledged team members. He decides to give her the benefit of a doubt. "It was a objective question to assess the situation, ma'am."

Cadman, still seems to be livid about his question… up until he tells her he'd just wanted to have some information on something, not imply something inappropriate. The question actually makes her take a break, a deep breath and a step back, figuratively. He's pretty sure Cadman wouldn't back down literally from _anyone_. It takes her another moment in which the guilt over Lorne's condition returns to her face until she asks quietly, "Does it really matter?"

He contemplates that. From a strictly formal stance it does matter. A fucking lot, even. It matters everything if she's sleeping with her team leader or not. He's not stupid, though. Even if it's not his style, he knows that war zones aren't non-sexual, non-feeling zones. Actually, he knows war zones to be among the most sexual zones known to men.

It's not only all the sex talk bullshitting of men hyped up on adrenaline and deprived of female company. It's couples of all sexes and builds sneaking around base camps, sometimes even FOBs. It's kissing in dark corners and making out in latrine stalls. Actually, to his knowledge, Atlantis is pretty tame in that regard, tamer than Camp Pendleton or even Camp Mathilda or any other camps in war zones and stateside he'd been stationed at.

As for Cadman and Lorne's case… "No, ma'am." Because even if she _is_ sleeping with him… why the fuck is it important? He's never seen them behave unprofessionally to anyone, and he knows that if Cadman gets promoted, and hopefully soon, it wouldn't be because she's fucking one of her superiors. She's above that.

Even her current behavior, while not _exactly_ professional, probably stems more from the fact that whatever happened on that mission to get Lorne shot up like that she considers to be her fault than having any romantic feelings she can't get under control. It's a fucking truckload of guilt that makes her do this, guilt that doesn't have anything to do with other personal feelings. He knows that. He's seen it in others, occasionally even in himself.

It's probably why she doesn't answer anything, just nods with a deep breath, in the near desperate attempt at keeping back the tears. He's close to telling her to stop that crap and just goddamn cry but it probably wouldn't go over well so all he does is say, a lot softer than he'd intended to, "Someone should have a look at your hands, ma'am."

She looks at him, a bit like deer in headlights, then at her hands and it dawns on him that this really is the first time she notices how much she wrecked them. Slowly, she flexes them and it seems that the pain starts to set in only now. When she looks at him again, he wishes she hadn't. He's tempted to say he never saw a Marine look like that but that's bullshit. The one he saw in the field out of Nasiriyah, the one who lost his unit and just kept wandering around… for a moment she looked just like him. "Yeah, I guess someone should."

He could leave it at that, move past her, have a go at the punching bag himself. Or he could do his job as a Sergeant and show a Lieutenant the way out of SNAFU she doesn't know how to get out of herself. He's just too damn dutiful for his own fucking good. "I just remembered I got a couple things to do at the infirmary. Care to come along, ma'am?"

For a very long moment, she seems to seriously consider it, even on the verge of saying no when she finally nods and says, "Can't harm, right?"

Ridiculously relieved, he shakes his head no and turns to go, Cadman actually leaving with him. He's about to start in a quick pace he's used to from her – this is kind of urgent after all – but quickly adjusts to the slow steps she makes today. Baby steps, he thinks, and nearly winces because it sounds just so damn corny.

It doesn't matter, he thinks a moment later. What matters is that she's taking steps forward, however slow they are. It's a lot better than tearing up her knuckles against a punching bag at least. Things can only get better for her now. He's kind of glad he was the one showing her the right direction. It means he hasn't lost his touch. It's a good feeling.


	2. Better Treat Her Right

**A/N:** So. I'm not... sure about this. I asked **hanseatic_keks **to look it over and she made a valuable point of some of Colbert's trademark dry wit lacking in the chapter even though there were a few points where I could have inserted it. I did look over the chapter and editted a few parts _but_... I'm not sure if it really worked. (the main thing is that Jennifer Keller is a female civilian _and_ kind of a figure of authority (at least in a formal way), despite everything and honestly... that's what made this so difficult to figure everything out. I'd be very happy about any input whatsoever. Seriously. I mean it.)

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><p><strong>Better Treat Her Right<strong>

_"She works hard for the money  
>So hard for it, honey<br>She works hard for the money  
>So you better treat her right."<br>_

_Gloria Summer, "She Works Hard For The Money"_

It's been an uneventful day so far. A few minor injuries or complaints and no missions gone wrong until now and she hopes it stays that way. After Laura dragging Major Lorne into the Gate room having half bled to death, she's glad things have quieted down. It's six months since she took over the infirmary from Carson but some days make her feel like she's back in her first internship, overwhelmed and scared to death. The day Major Lorne nearly died in her OR was one of them.

But they could stabilize him and he's been in the ICU ever since. He didn't wake up yet, mainly due to the fact that they had to put him in an artificial coma. There's a lot of healing technology buried in this city and some of it they could resurrect. It's helping her patients, but it also usually demands for them to be in some form of stasis, artificial coma or other inconvenient condition. She honestly wonders if that is just because they still haven't fully understood Ancient tech or because the Ancients simply forgot to improve their devices in that regard. She tends toward the latter, simply because the Ancients were _the Ancients_.

So, anyway, at least she can finally get to organize the antibiotics shelf and... "Hey, Jennifer." _Darnit._

Trying to look calm and composed and not like the jumpy chicken people think her to be, she turns around to see Laura Cadman standing in the doorway and... one of the Marines that came here a couple of months ago, Recon or whatever they called themselves. A Sergeant something or other… Colbert, yes, that's him.

She hasn't seen much of that particular soldier because somehow he never really needed the infirmary's attention until now. Quick post-mission and obligatory check-ups, in, out, gone again, that was it for the most part. Compared to the other soldiers on base, he's actually a miracle. So it's a veritable mystery to her why he'd suddenly be standing there with Laura.

It is, however, not a mystery at all why _Laura_ is here. A look at her hands speaks volumes. She frowns. "Laura, what..." The Sergeant standing behind Laura shakes his head in a very small movement, peering at her with serious blue eyes... obviously trying to tell her something. She turns back to Laura with a tight little smile that probably looks as fake as it feels. "Never mind."

Laura, in turn, shrugs with an almost embarrassed self-conscious little half-smile. "I, uh... I think I need some... I had a little... run-in with... um.."

That really isn't like Laura. _Most of all_, it's not like Laura _in front of other soldiers_. However, she's not stupid. A civilian, maybe, but not stupid. So she decides to treat this as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. "Let's get that wrapped, huh." A little... relieved, Laura nods and she walks over to the first aid cabinet to gather a few supplies, beckoning Laura to follow her.

Colbert keeps standing in the doorway... as if he wants to make sure... make sure _what_? That Laura is taken care of? Of course she would be. She's her friend and... and there's probably more to the scrapes than just "I had a run-in with whatever." And she remembers that particular Sergeant being spoken of as a veritable mother hen. Oh _fine_. She gives the Sergeant a very firm nod and after one of those indecipherable looks he'd been throwing her since Laura and he arrived here, he leaves.

She concentrates on Laura again.

The first thing she does is have a good look at Laura's scraped knuckles. Or trying to make it look like she does that while she does a much more important assessment of Laura's mental state. She's not stupid and she isn't blind, either so she was well aware of Laura's less than ideal reaction to Major Lorne's predicament. It's not the first time she reacted to a mission gone down the drain with a few days of scowling and snapping at people. It is, however, the first time ever she did something to herself.

She'd like to believe that the bruised and bloodied knuckles are the result of some duty related accident or other but Laura being in what they call PT clothes, looking like she'd been at it for quite some time was a dead giveaway. That and the fact that Colbert wouldn't leave until she'd communicated to him that she'd take care of Laura.

She looks at her friend's face and finds her only looking away. That's never a good sign. Laura usually doesn't do looking away. She looks you in the eye, makes sure you know that she's talking to _you_. Laura Cadman just doesn't do retreats. Her doctor's instinct is screaming at her that she needs to know what exactly is going on with Laura but the part of her that knows Laura as a friend, as a soldier and as a person knows that if she'd start prying now, she'd run against a wall bigger than the Great one in China. She resists sighing. "Okay, I'd like to x-ray this…"

"No. No, that's… it's okay. I don't think there's anything broken." That's not even… Laura's normal reaction to medical attention.

Oh, okay, it kind of is. But… it also isn't? It's the tone, she thinks. It's not Laura's usual devil may care attitude, mixed with that weird understatement and modesty in face of injury that all soldiers seem to have to a certain degree. It's… defeated. Something isn't right here. In fact, something is _tremendously_ wrong. She decides to play the COM card. "Maybe, but quite frankly, that's not yours to decide. There could still be hairline fractures and even though you might not believe it, those could definitely harm your… what's the word?"

"Combat readiness?" Laura helps out and adds, "Quite frankly, _I_ don't think hairline fractures are going to be my biggest problem in the near future."

Whatever does she mean by _that_, she wonders. As far as she knows, Laura did her best and actually _saved_ Major Lorne on that mission. She always thought soldiers get medals for that, not reprimands. Again, she finds herself wondering what _exactly_ happened on that mission. Hopefully, she'll learn about that when Major Lorne wakes up, if Laura doesn't have an unexpected fit of tell all before that. And she's still the… the _goddamn_ Chief of Medicine in Atlantis. "They're my biggest concern _right now_ so stop whining and get your… behind to the radiology chamber."

Did she just see a faint smirk on Laura's face? Genuine amusement, even? "Yes, ma'am, I'll get my ass over to the radiology chamber." Phew. So she _didn't_ lose her sense of humor, as she'd heard Marines and other personnel in the city assuming, most of all Rodney and those two guys from Zoology… anyway. X-ray her hands. Yes.

Not making any more fuss, Laura accompanies her to radiology and while she waits for the radiographer to finish the shots, she gets some more time to watch her friend. There's something in her posture… that strikes her. She's… she's not slumped but she misses the energy that Laura usually radiates and mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Somehow… where Laura exuded aggression and anger in the last couple of days, she only appears weary and even a little exhausted now. As if she tries to hold up a front but is losing the fight against herself. Oh Laura, she thinks.

When the technician is done, he signals her that he sent the shots to her intranet account and she pulls them up on her tablet while Laura comes walking over. She frowns. Mh… okay… no, that looks to be alright. She's relieved because she'd have hated to have to pull Laura off the off-world roster. _Laura_ would have hated her for that, and even herself even more. "So… what's up, Doc?"

She rolls her eyes. "You got off lucky, Bugs Bunny."

Laura actually kind of perks up. "Oh, good, I guess that means you don't have to…"

What… nuh-uh. Laura will _not_ get away like _that_, because the damn scrapes need dressing and… she realizes that Laura needs something else here, as well. "Oh no, you don't."

"Aw, come on, Jennifer, can't I just…"

_No_? "Definitely not. Laura, I have to…" Did she really just try to leave anyway? Good God. "_Lieutenant Cadman_." Apparently, Major Lorne and Colonel Sheppard aren't the only people addressing Laura by her rank works for. She needs to remember that for the future. "You're going to stay here until I had a look at those bruises and wrapped them up." Mh. Why is it that Laura is starting to look… desperate? Is that the right word? "That's final, Laura. Someone needs to have a look at those and I don't have anything to do, anyway."

That is not _quite_ true and for a moment it looks as if Laura is going to voice that thought but in the end… she seems to… deflate a little and simply nods so she starts working at the bruises. During cleaning them, she can feel Laura wanting to wince every time she touches them but being the stoic warrior she tries everyone to tell she is, Laura never says anything, not even moves. That's… disconcerting because usually, Laura loves to joke about doctors obviously being sadists reveling in the pain of their victims.

All during taking care of Laura's hands she tries to find a way to learn what _exactly_ this is about. She gets that Laura is really upset by what happened to Major Lorne – not for the first time, she wonders if there's anything else than just a professional relationship between Laura and Major Lorne – more than usual but that she would start harming herself? That's new.

The Laura she knows wouldn't do that to herself, would never do anything to hamper her "combat readiness", anything that made her unfit for duty. Unless… unless this wasn't _intentional_ harm. She wishes she could have talked to Colbert for a moment, to ask him how he found Laura and what she was doing but she's pretty good at deducting that herself.

Laura must have been working out, because that's what Laura does when she's upset about something: she tries to get right of it with physical exertion. And she knows Laura's more of a martial arts person than a running person. She knows Laura has a fondness for battering a punching bag… that was a no-brainer. She should have known _that_ way back when Colbert brought Laura here.

Taking a short moment to fit the bandages for Laura's right hand she takes another look at her. Yeah, the punching bag. She wonders how often Laura visited it in the last couple of days to make her knuckles raw enough that she would draw blood and it starts to dawn on her that this time, Laura isn't furious about a command decision or one of her men or someone from the science department making a mistake. All her anger is directed at _herself_ and she's pretty sure it has to do something with the mission. She must be blaming herself for… for the way Major Lorne came back to Atlantis.

Well. That would also explain why she didn't see Laura here until now. Finishing the last dressing she makes a decision. "So… I'm not going to put you on light duty, but please do me a favor?" Laura eyes her warily. "Don't try anything Muhammad Ali as long as that isn't fully healed."

Finally, there's something of the old Laura in her. She was never so glad to see the laconic eye rolling as now. "Yeah, yeah. Can I go…"

"I'd like to show you something." That… came out quieter than she intended to and maybe that's why Laura seems to realize almost immediately what this is about.

Again, that strange kind of quiet desperation that she's seen lurking behind Laura's façade shows. It's like she desperately wants to get out of here but has no idea where to. "Jennifer, I…"

"Come on. You need to see this." Maybe Kate would tell her it's a bad idea. Maybe Kate's replacement, Dr. Eshkol, would tell her so too, were she here now instead of M5Z-683 for the first Pegasus pangalactic conference on trauma psychology. But she's got a feeling Laura _really_ needs to see what she's going to show her.

So she doesn't except excuses and steers Laura in the direction of the ICU. Currently, Major Lorne is the only patient there and as soon as Laura realizes where they're going, she becomes tense and tightlipped. She's pretty sure Laura would also like to turn around immediately but she counted on Laura's philosophy of never backing down once she decided to go along with something and it's working.

When they reach Major Lorne's current room, it _very_ much looks like Laura is ready to balk at the sight of her CO wired to a couple of monitors, even though it looks a lot worse than it actually is. Since two days he's breathing on his own again and she's confident that they'll be able to wake him up in a couple of days and won't need any new surgeries.

But Laura doesn't know that. Laura only heard everything about him second hand and a look at her face tells her why she never came here on her own. She's seen a lot, even in her rather short career as a doctor but she thinks she never saw guilt like that before. Knowing Laura usually tries to avoid anything that makes her look soft in public, she puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes anyway. When Laura looks at her, she tries to give her an encouraging smile. "I think he'd like some company."

Okay, what she'd _really_ wanted to say was "I think he'd like _your_ company" but judging from how Laura usually reacts when people start making educated guesses about the nature of her relationship with Major Lorne – and, granted, also her relationship with any of the other soldiers – that doesn't really sound like a good idea. Again, civilian, not stupid.

"I… wouldn't be so sure about that, Jennifer." Mh. She's tempted to ask what exactly happened on that mission, after all but she won't hear about it as long as Laura doesn't _want_ to tell her.

So she does the next best thing. "But _I_ am sure about it. Go on. It's not like he's gonna bite you, you know." It makes Laura roll her eyes and make a face.

Then she looks at the Major again and there seems to be a… shift in her stance. Something… as if she… _accepted_ something? Wow, having been COM for six months actually did wonders to her capability to read people. That's kind of… amazing. "I can't hurt him by just sitting at his side for a while, right?"

The growing desire to put her arms around her friend and give her a long, tight hug to squeeze out all the guilt and the hurt reaches a new peak after days of watching her taking out her self-anger at anyone who crossed her path. Maybe she's gonna do that when they're in less public surroundings. Right now... "No, Laura. Just sit down and maybe talk a little to him. I really think he'll appreciate that."

There's one last resigned and somehow also relieved look from Laura and then she squares her shoulders and walks over the chair that's been permanently placed next to Major Lorne. She knows she should give the two of them some privacy but something in her makes her stay, just for a little while longer, just to make sure Laura's gonna be okay. It's why she watches Laura sit down carefully next to the bed and sitting perched on the edge of the chair a little stiffly for a moment before she tentatively leans back and then curls up as well as you can in an office chair. Well, good to know that she finally settled…

"Any news on the Major, ma'am?" Holy fucking _crap_. "Sorry, ma'am, I didn't want to…"

"Scare the crap out of me? Don't worry, Sergeant, that frequently happens to me." She can't help smiling a little self-deprecatingly at Colbert who just somehow managed to materialize next to her and make her actually jump with his quiet question. Feeling the familiar tug of bashfulness under the inscrutable gaze of the Sergeant she always feels in the presence of people much more experienced and self-assured than herself, she tries to get a grip on herself and escapes to her only real area of expertise. "Anyway, uh… Major Lorne's stable for now, and I think we'll be able to wake him up in about two or three days, depending on how well he responds to Ancient technology therapy."

"Good to hear, ma'am." For some reason… it surprises her how honest Colbert sounds about this. Or maybe it just surprised her that they're currently having something that could almost be called a conversation.

Or, okay, _had_ a conversation because as suddenly as it began she's out of topics to talk to him about… until she realizes that he didn't look away from her because she bored him. It's just that she seems not to be the only one interested in Laura's well-being. It makes her smile a little and prompts her to say, "Thanks for bringing her here, Sergeant."

There's an awkward moment in which Colbert looks almost… _embarrassed_? Nah, he doesn't, she thinks. You were imagining that. So she's almost relieved when his next move is to give her a small shrug and an almost bored sounding, "Just doing my job, ma'am."

There it is again. The thing that fascinates her so much about soldiers in general and the Marines in particular. Their quiet "just doing my job" attitude when thanking them for something they didn't have to do. Even when that involved saving someone's life. Or hands. She always thought they'd be a bunch of bragging, loudmouth guys and girls and because they're not she feels like she can't thank them enough for what they're doing. "You didn't have to, so… thanks again."

Well, that should close the conver… or maybe.. _not_. All of a sudden, there's a look on the Sergeant's face that tells her that he decided he needs to get something else off his chest, after all. "Actually, ma'am, I did have to. Otherwise, this city would probably have been down one Lieutenant able to defend it by making things go boom in a very short time. Personally, I'd rather have that one Lieutenant than not. To be honest, _someone_ should have done this the moment the LT… Lieutenant Cadman didn't show up here after the Major's surgery was finished."

That's… pretty much spot on. It's making her feel bad. Or, okay, it's making her admit that she'd felt pretty bad that she didn't know how to approach Laura. Laura's her friend and it's not like they didn't go through tough times together before, this being Atlantis and all. It's just that her job is a very busy one and the mental health department's got their hands full as well and Colonel Sheppard and Colonel Carter were pretty much busy with the audit the IOA sicced on them… And Laura can be just so damn _terrifying_ at times.

The thing is, none of that is a reason to let a friend down. A friend whose health she's responsible for. She screwed up, bad enough that a Sergeant who's trained to kill people instead of fixing them had to do her job. She leans against the door frame, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking at Laura again... who seems to have fallen asleep. If she wouldn't feel so god awful right now, she'd probably smile. It doesn't help that Colbert keeps looking at her with that intense, indecipherable look, either. She shifts uncomfortably. "I know, I... That's not really our standard performance and…"

"Shit happens, ma'am," he interrupts her calmly, before she can launch into a full scale blame storm, looking at her as serious as he sounded. As if he _knew_ that things like those happened and that you shouldn't dwell on them once they did. She wonders what kind of medical care he was used to when he thinks a screw up like that isn't worth dwelling on.

She's about to tell him that it _shouldn't_ happen when he shortly looks at Laura and Lorne again and then gives her a crooked, small smile, adding, "Don't worry, ma'am. You fixed her hands, after all."

Yeah, well… kind of. She knows she shouldn't say things like what she's going to say now, as head of an entire department of everything but in the quiet hours in the infirmary and most of all when she sees friends suffering because she made a wrong decision, or, even worse, no decision at all, she feels like she doesn't deserve the honor they bestowed on her when they made her Carson Beckett's successor. "That doesn't change anything about the fact that I screwed up, Sergeant."

He regards her with a thoughtful look, his head very slightly cocked to the side. It feels as if he's measuring her. Against what or whom she doesn't know but the feeling of desperately wanting to measure _up_ is unnervingly strong. Just when she's about to start actual squirming, he says with a hint of the kind of patience you usually show students or interns who just made a mistakes because they just don't know better yet, "Ma'am… just a suggestion but how about you drop me a hint next time you're worried about one of the Marines or other military personnel?"

She's not really firm in armed forces personnel informal hierarchies – to be honest, she isn't even all that well versed in the intricacies of their _formal_ hierarchy – but Laura keeps telling her over and over again and with great conviction that "the NCOs are the backbone of the Corps" and she's starting to realize why.

She knows she should be pissed at him because he obviously just regarded her as an intern, not a full-fledged doctor but it _is_ more important that he just offered her his support in dealing with a part of the Atlantis population that still seems alien to her, despite treating a number of them nearly every day. She also knows he just offered to do something that should be more of Colonel Sheppard's or Major Lorne's responsibility but she knows enough about both men's schedules and _other_ responsibilities that she knows she also has to rely on more informal ways of reaching the military Atlantis inhabitants. She nods, trying to sound grateful, "I will Sergeant. Thank you."

He tips his forehead in a casual two finger salute and nods, saying, "You're welcome, ma'am." The weird thing about this is that he sounded… as if he meant it. Not just as a set phrase, he really _wants_ to do this for her, _help_ her, and his fellow soldiers, of course. Marines. Armed forces personnel. Whatever. She's _never_ gonna get that right, no matter _how_ often Laura tries to correct her.

And anyway… she wants to answer him, tell him _something_ about how much she really, really appreciates his offer but he just calmly nods his good bye to her and then leaves the ICU in the sure step of someone just having had completed an assignment he'd been concerned with for a prolonged amount of time. Huh.

Oh well. She looks at Laura again, takes a few steps back into the room and yeah… her suspicions are confirmed by the sight of Laura having curled up in the chair, her eyes closed and her head tipped slightly to the left. It's one of the most inconvenient positions for falling asleep in she ever saw but she knows Laura.

She's going to be a lot grumpier if she wakes her up now than waking up on her own later, cramped back and neck and all. So she decides the next best thing, that is fetching a blanket. It's the least she can do for Laura right now. They can still do all the talking stuff later, and she'll fix _more_ than just Laura's hand. She owes that to Laura and Sergeant Colbert and somehow even to Major Lorne and she always pays her dues.


End file.
